Valhalla Knights 3 on the PS TV

Using the Playstation TV to play Valhalla Knights 3 may not have been the best decision.  The game is not exactly the best looking Vita game, and those graphical flaws are magnified on a larger screen.  The hostess minigame also seems to rely on the touchscreen, and that's not an option with the PS TV.

After the cut, I'm posting a screenshot which basically sums up my ambivalence about the game.  It has nothing to do with the technical side, but the tastefulness of the game itself.

Valhalla Knights 3: the magical prison life RPG you've been waiting for

Valhalla Knights 3 is actually the 4th game in the Valhalla Knights series, there was a Wii game that came out between 2 and 3, and I'm not counting the digital-only enhanced version of the second game as a separate entry.  It's an action RPG put out by XSEED.

The game begins with a scene of an evil emperor doing evil emperor things like killing one of his minions that's trying to talk sense into him.  It then cuts to the player walking into Carceron Prison with a group of fellow prisoners.  After a brief explanation, you enter the prison proper where one of the female prisoners is promptly kidnapped to meet a presumably dark fate, two of the prisoners who entered with you try to intervene and are promptly killed.

Say what you will about the game, but it knows how to set the scene!

You're given basic equipment by a merchant whose business plan seems to be "more living prisoners = more customers spending money at my store" and are set loose.  It's only then that you find out that you and one of the group you came with are Imperial agents seeking W. Flockhart's lost magical treasure that grants wishes (or at least a wish).  I'm guessing that W. Flockhart is not related to the star of Ally McBeal.

In talking to other prisoners, you sometimes want to wash your hands.  In particular, there's a guy who talks about wanting to kidnap a woman and then 'heh, heh, eh, heh.'  Unsavory is best way to describe it.

The game also allows you to romance different clerks by giving them gifts and entering 'sexy time' with them.  I guess they felt that putting date sim elements would help; that gameplay element didn't exist on either of the game's PSP predecessors.

It turns our that you and your fellow Imperial agents (you meet up with a third soon into the game) are being magically compelled by the empire.  In fact, your group seems to hate the empire since it conquered your countries.

The first boss was actually quite difficult.  I had to grind levels and gold for about an hour before I upgraded everyone's equipment and could beat him.

Beat Ether Mirage and Demon Gaze going on hiatus

After giving it several tries and adjusting the difficulty, I was finally able to beat Ether Mirage.  The problem with that boss is that it heals an unreasonable amount of hit points every three turns (changing the difficulty meant it merely healed 4800 hit points as opposed to 5400).  Once that boss was beaten, exploring the last two screens of the dungeon was easy.

Then, the final boss fight came.  More details about that after the jump.

Pluto, Uranus and a roadblock

After Astro, I guess the developers decided to cut back on the dungeons.  Pluto and Uranus had a total of 4 grids for both of them, and they were very straightforward.  Uranus was also an incredibly easy boss fight and only 2 steps away from where the elevator would bring you.

Beating them made it so I had all 10 Demon Keys.  That meant I could get the magic sword that was hanging out in the castle.  It's a pretty nice weapon.  That meant I could go shatter the magical barrier that was supposed to consist of the magic shield that made up the last of the three treasures.

Doing that brought out a new boss to fight.  Unfortunately, Ether Mirage is tough.  Not only does she do a lot of damage, but she heals nearly 6,000 hit points at the end of the third round.  I haven't beaten her, and it's making me frustrated; I see why the trophy percentage of people playing the game dropped off around here.

Advanced Battle Tactics (hold the lettuce)

If you're wondering about the title of this post, then you're probably not familiar with .hack//SIGN.  In that case, I present BT (named after her favorite sandwich but without the L since she hates Lettuce).

What supermodel doesn't play MMOs and hate lettuce?

There goes Astro

I had a playing binge on Saturday, so I finished up Astro's dungeon and defeated him.  The dungeon was huge and involved going into and out of the water several times.  What's wrong with the water, you ask.  Well, other than the fact that you can't cast spells in it, going into it also strips you of your buffs and you need to reapply them when you leave.  There were a whole lot of times when I'd be in the water for 5 minutes or so and then when I got out, I'd have to reapply them.

I should mention that Astro is, in fact, a male demon.  So, my previous guess of a busty she-demon was wrong.

After two or three lengthy explorations (explorations so long that I filled my inventory and started consuming items so I'd have more room), I faced Astro.  Details on that fight after the break.

Astro's dungeon

The latests dungeon I'm in is Astro's.  It's more on the size of Jupiter's, which means it's going to take a long time to explore and conquer.  So fair, it has aspects of pretty much all the dungeons I've gone through.  There's an underwater part, electrified walls, and ground that hurts.

I haven't seen Astro yet.  I'm wondering if he or she will turn out to be like the most famous Astro or his most well-known descendant.  Of course, Astro could end up being an overly endowed woman, as 5 of the 7 demons I've beaten so far.  Smart money would put it on the latter.

The Traitor Exposed!

In a shocking, so shocking turn of events, the evil albino loli revealed that she was behind a lot of the bad things that happened.  I also got to have a boss fight with her in a form that I can only say should be by the dictionary entry for overcompensating.  Her portrait was so misleading since I beat her in two rounds.

Doing that calls for a dancing gif.

Olivia Pope has many talents. Dancing is not one of them.